i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
