His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
