I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I want her autograph on my taint
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize