Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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