if i can run in heels then i can drive
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
