I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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