I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
