what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
