week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
