He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
