Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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