If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
