you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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