Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
