She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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