Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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