small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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