FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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