So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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