yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
