so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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