I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Don't make out with my wife yet
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
