Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
