I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Verdict: uncircumcised.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
