We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
