I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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