She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think people are normalizing furries
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
