I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
