this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize