he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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