Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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