return my video game
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
