Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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