I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
