While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
