In the future we'll all be gay
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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