spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
