I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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