But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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