can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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