We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
