dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
