Welp...herpes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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