i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I AM VODKA MAN
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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