why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
