haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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