Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
