trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
