i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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