I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
