While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
