i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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