ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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