About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
