i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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