I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
