I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
