I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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