I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
