your parents love me but you hate me
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
