sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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