you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize